Here Without You
by PenguinFanatic
Summary: Xenophilius has just found out that the Death Eaters have Luna, and is fighting with himself about what he should do. He starts journaling as a release and has decided to write everyday until he finds her. Thank you for reading it, please review for me!


Xenophilius bustled around his house, excited to see his wonderful Luna again. He knew it would only make her happier to see the house clean, as it would be less for her to do. Since it was her last year at Hogwarts, everything had to be perfect. Finally deciding that the house was as clean as he would get it, he stepped out his front door to receive his daughter at the train station. With a swish of his wand and a pop, he disapparated heading to King's Cross Station.

After what seemed like an eternity, the train lurched to a stop and students began to spill out of it. His breath caught in his throat as he saw first Ginny, then Neville step off the train and run to their parents. He hardly ever saw them without his beautiful Luna close by when it had to do with school. Xenophilius waited until there were only a few stragglers left before realizing that Luna wasn't there. But… where was she! He had received a letter saying that she would be coming home for Christmas, but yet she wasn't here.

All of a sudden, a hand touched his arm, making him jump and his heart beat with hope. Turning, Xenophilius saw that it was Ginny, and was taken aback to see her pretty face tear stained. "I-I'm sorry Mr. Lovegood but… they took her. Luna, they just… stopped the train and grabbed her!" Ginny's red hair covered her face as she heaved a huge sob. "It's alright Ginny dear, its okay. Just tell me, who took her?" Xenophilius wrapped an arm around her shoulders and hugged them, doing his best to comfort her. "The Death Eaters… we tried, we really did. We didn't want to let her go! I'm so sorry… I hope you get her back." She hugged him tightly before returning to Molly, who hugged her daughter and looked at Xenophilius with pity. Turning to leave, she nodded a bit at him, knowing it best to leave him alone.

Turning on the spot, he disapparated, choosing the silence of his somewhat stuffy home to the openness of King's Cross Station. He appeared outside his front door and found, to his dismay, a note pinned to the wood. Picking it up with shaking hands, he read it as best he could, trying to keep his tears from spilling over. _We have Luna. Stop supporting Potter in The Quibbler and we might release her. If you continue however, we will kill her. Don't worry; we'll keep you updated on her "progress"._ Crumpling the note, Xenophilius threw it into the bushes before stepping into his house. Almost like a switch had been flipped, he lost his composure.

Screaming, Xenophilius grabbed his hair and pulled, reveling in the pain of hair leaving the scalp. Realizing the amount of damage he had done to his already diminishing supply of hair, he reached toward the nearest item, intent upon throwing it. A few shattered items and a broken chair later, he spotted the real culprit. His printing press. Balling his hand into a fist he brought it down on the old machine. With more screaming, he tore the machine to pieces, not thinking about how much damage he was doing not only to himself but also to his chances of getting Luna back.

All of a sudden everything came back to him, became real again and he began to think of how he could get his precious Luna back. Dropping to the ground, tears began to leak from Xenophilius's eyes onto the now dust covered floor. He couldn't stand it. Everything he had left in his life was gone. His Luna, so good and so sweet had been stolen and now his printing press, which was his fault, but now it too, was gone. Despair filled his heart as he remembered the note. The best way to get Luna back was to stop supporting Harry and, as much as it killed him, start supporting You-Know-Who.

Not only was he going to not be able to tell Luna about this, but he couldn't believe he had just made this decision. Summoning all his courage, he wiped his face clear of all tear and stood, ready to go on with his day. Finding his wand, which was slightly cracked, he repaired his printing press ready for a new start. Xenophilius knew the Death Eaters would be watching his paper and all the articles published in it, so he couldn't even risk to code things. Surely they knew he would try and they would be on the lookout for it, and any other trickery he had up his sleeve.

Sitting down to write, his heart still throbbed knowing that he was betraying his daughter's best friends. But what could he do, they had taken Luna! He knew even with his heart ripping apart that this might actually kill him. But he could die happy if he could die with Luna in his arms. His wonderful Luna, the last remaining part of his wonderful loving wife. Putting quill to paper to begin a new view on the war was the final step of him becoming a traitor, and he just hoped Luna would forgive him.

Day Two

Xenophilius began to search for places that Luna could be, only wanting to find her himself. It had already been too long without her. A whole day since he should have picked her up from the station. Very fitting to his mood, it was gloomy and rainy outside as he wrote in his journal he was keeping. _I can't stand it. The house is just too silent without her here whistling and singing. It's almost like it isn't Christmas time without her here at the house. It just… I don't understand why they didn't just come try to kill me. Why take Luna, why try to change what I was writing rather than get rid of me? It just doesn't make sense to me… but it must make sense to them since they did it. It just doesn't seem right, for them to target an innocent girl instead of the one committing the crime. I must figure out how to get her back. There is no other choice._

Day Three

_I slept most of the day, only getting up once to use the restroom and make her favorite tea. Then I was back, back to sleeping and thinking. But how? How in the world am I going to get her back! This just isn't fair. Wasn't losing one person he loved more than enough to hurt someone, now they had to take the only other person he loved away from him. Losing Luna just brings back old pain, I don't understand why they had to do it! But I will get her back. I promise Luna, you won't be there for any logner than necessary. And I will make everyone involved pay for it. That is guaranteed._

Day Four

_I haven't decided where to start looking for her, or even if I should. I need her, want her back, but searching may be just what they want. That way, they can kill me off then use her as bait to get to Harry. Maybe, it will just be safer for all if I keep to myself and write in favor of the Dark Lord. Maybe, just maybe, I just need to let life take whatever course it may and just have faith… but then again, what will she say about that. When she finds out I never looked, never tried. That I stayed at home, too afraid to try to find my little daughter, who must be a million times more scared than I. But still… what if I shouldn't look. I just need to think… I need to get out of here, but I can't. Maybe once it's sunny again I will._

Day Five

_I'm back to thinking that I should look for her, but it's still raining. I guess I should get on with the next issue of The Quibbler… but I'm not much in the mood to write about that. Maybe… I can write one article. But, about what? I can't write in support of Harry… so what can I write about. I definitely can't go back to my old topics; people seem to find these newer issues more interesting. I don't see how… but I need a story, and fast. Or I'm going to lose money as well as Luna, and then I won't have any chance of helping her. None at all._

Day Six

_It's been almost a week but it seems like an eternity. Everyday seems like a year. I still haven't found any sign of Luna, or where they may have taken her and I'm hoping someone will deliver another letter. I really wish they would tell me what to do, but I doubt they will. Maybe I'll go to Diagon Alley and Knockturn Alley tomorrow to find her a gift. Even though she won't be here, she needs a gift… maybe I should get her a pet. I bet she'd like that. Maybe a nice owl… or a cat. I don't know, I'm sure I'll find something! There is never a limited amount of ideas when magic is involved._

Day Seven

_Well, I went to Diagon Alley today. I didn't find anything Luna would like, so I guess I'll have to go back and visit Knockturn Alley. But I did find a few things to add to the Diadem of Ravenclaw. I hope I can finish it before Luna gets back, that way she gets to see it once it's totally completed. That might be best, to keep busy and not think about her. But that's impossible, just as impossible as it was trying to rid the house of any evidence her mom's presence after she died. I still haven't made much progress on The Quibbler. I need to finish that soon so I have time to print it…_

Day Eight

_Well, I spent all day today working on The Quibbler. I guess it was a day well spent, but it's hard to focus with this ache in my heart. I've heard somewhere, that life can be overrated but it gets better as you go. I sure hope it does, or it won't have been worth living. Or maybe… no, it wouldn't have been worth all this loss. Sometimes I wonder, what it would have been like if I had told her not to. Not to try that new spell, would she have done it anyway? Was it really my fault, like I had always __though__ assumed it was?_

Day Nine

_I can't believe it's already the 19__th__ of December. Only six days until Christmas. I wonder how they are treating Luna… I hope they aren't being too harsh on her. It is almost the season of cheer after all. I need to stop doing this. Journaling I mean. I can't stand it. It makes me think too much. Maybe I just need a break… from everything. From thinking even from making The Quibblers. I just don't think I can handle all this stress right now, I just need a break. Can that be my present? A break from everything, including worrying about Luna?_

Day Ten

_I feel so horrible today. I just want to die being here without both of my girls. But I can't. I have a chance to save Luna. That's all that matters now. I just need to save her, and I will know that I have done all I can. No one should take a poor defenseless girl like that. I just can't believe that this is happening to me. I don't think I can handle all this._


End file.
